I am sitting at my grandma's house in Oregon. Every year we head up this direction for Christmas to visit our family. This year, we're sitting in the middle of a blizzard :)

Last week in Sunday School, we were talking about my upcoming trip. I said that I was going to bring my Nike Cortez shoes (if you dont know what I'm talking about, read this blog before you continue). This is how the conversation went:

Diandra: "I'm one tough cookie... they won't know what to do with me in Oregon" :)
Teen: "More like a THUG cookie"
Diandra: "What exactly is a thug cookie?"
Teen: "It's a cookie with LA written on it and Nike Cortez shoes."

Sunday Mornings we have a service that we call TNT. It's our service that is more contemporary and aimed at teens, college students and young adults. We have loud, upbeat worship and then when it's time for the sermon, the show the main service sermon on a big screen. Javier and I are the pastors in the TNT service.

Last Sunday, as the service started, there was something not right. We were having sound issues, people were distracted and the worship was off. So a couple of songs into it, I stopped the service. We stopped and prayed together and asked God to take away the distractions and be in the midst of the service. Then we started again.

And the service was amazing.

It's so cool to see how God continually answers prayer, and continually shows up at church with us :)

I was looking around during the sermon at the array of different people in the service. A large portion of that service is made up of teens. And as much as we have emphasized the fact that this is NOT a teen service, I got to thinking... how many of these teens would be in church at all if we didn't have this service? I came to the conclusion that even if the service never grows... even if it stays EXACTLY where it is now (which I don't believe it will), it is worth the work that has gone into it, because it is accomplishing a lot. It is reaching people that quite possibly wouldn't be in church otherwise.

I wanted to share a couple of stories of what God has been doing in our youth group. Because even in 2008... God still does things!

Last week I was preparing to teach. We've been going through the book of John bit by bit. It was my turn to teach and I was so excited because I got to teach about Jesus walking on water! Which is one of my very favorite stories (although I have many). So as I was preparing, I was struggling. I wanted so badly to focus on the miracle that Jesus did in walking on the water. But God was pulling me a different direction. So Wednesday night, I got up to speak... not knowing ENTIRELY where I was going with this.

That happens to be quite often. Sometimes I know right away where God wants me to go, other times, I don't know until the last minute, and still other times, I walk up on that stage without a clue what is going to come out of my mouth. But God has taught me to trust Him and He always comes through! Wednesday was one of those days. I knew where I WASN'T going to go, but I just continued to pray and let God do His thing.

I spoke about how the disciples were scared when they saw Jesus, but as soon as He called out to them, they were no longer afraid. They knew His voice. The reason they knew His voice is because they had a relationship with Him. I talked about the importance of having a relationship with God so you recognize His voice. The story goes on to talk about how the people who he'd left went looking for Him. I talked about how there are times we feel like we cant hear from God... and instead of just waiting around, we need to SEEK Him. At the end, I asked the teens if they wanted to hear from God. I asked them to come to the cross (our version of an alter) and spend time praying and making sure they had a relationship with God and that it was right. And then we prayed and asked that God would speak to them. The cross was FILLED with students.

I began to feel very lightheaded and short of breath the second I walked on that stage. I knew that God was going to do something big because Satan was working overtime. As soon as I finished saying what I had to say, I turned it over to Javier to pray and I went to the back and dropped. I laid on the floor for quite a while trying to get my breath back. In the mean time, God was doing things in the lives of our kids.

I've been struggling lately with feeling inadequate. I've struggled with God's call on my life and wondered if I'm living it out the way He wants me to. Over and over I've doubted myself and what God is doing through me. It's been an ongoing battle the last couple of months, and every time I begin to struggle with it, God gives me encouragement. Usually in the form of a teen that comes and tells me how much they love me and how glad they are that I am their youth pastor. Last week I was really fighting with this. I was feeling more discouraged than I had in a very long time. Before the service, I was asking God just to reveal something to me... to make it clear that I am where I'm supposed to be.

God very clearly showed Himself and the way that He is using me when one of my teens came up to me after almost everyone had gone home. He talked to me about some of the things he'd been thinking about and what was going on in his life. Then he told me he thinks God is calling him to ministry...

I cried.

Because God still does things. God still uses people... even when we feel inadequate.

You see, there are things Ive started taking for granted. I realized that on Wednesday night. I take for granted that there are new kids every week, and every week there are kids returning from the week before. I take for granted that kids respond to our messages EVERY WEEK. I take for granted that our teens worship God with their hearts, regardless of what their friends think. And I take for granted that kids make decisions to accept Christ and follow Him and trust Him.

It is my job to teach these kids... but last week, God taught me a huge lesson.

God still does things.

I am fairly young. And more than that, I really still LOOK young. Oftentimes I am confused with my teens... people will ask me if I know where the youth pastor is :) Sometimes I worry that it is hard for my teens to look at me as an adult because of this.

A few days ago, I was listening to some music with one of the kids... a lot of it was music from the 90's. The kid turns to me and says,

"Do you know all these songs? They're oldies."

It was at that moment that I realized they do see me as an adult... and apparently an old one :)

I will be preaching in the main Spanish service a week from Friday.

I am so excited.

I am so nervous.

Just wanted to share.

We have an intern from Biola University. Her name is Sarah. She's been with us now for a little over a year I believe. It is absolutely a God-thing how we ended up with her and she has been a huge blessing. She fits really well with Javier and me, and she does a great job with the kids. Here are a couple of stories I thought I'd share involving her. Sarah, if you're reading this, we love you :) And it's about time you made it on the blog!

On Friday night we were having a discussion with our teens.

Sarah (our intern) was the one leading the discussion at this point. She was trying to get the kids thinking. Oftentimes we'll do that by asking them for a response. That is what she did.

Sarah: God created everything, he looked around and said that it was....
(trying to get the kids to say "good")

Teen: Mine.

* * * * *

Sarah has started teaching the early Sunday School class on Sunday mornings. The first day she was there, she was talking to the kids about what they liked and didn't like about Sunday School. One of the kids said that they didn't like the name... it seemed boring. So Sarah suggested changing it.

Sarah: Well, let's change the name to something awesome. What do you want to call it?

***Silence***

Teen: How about "something awesome".

Sarah: Okay.

"Sunday School" has officially been changed to "Something Awesome".

There are moments that just absolutely crack me up.

And there are kids that crack me up even more.

I have two stories that come from the same teen...

The first one happened a couple of weeks ago.

For this story to make sense, you have to understand the set up of our youth group.
We usually have the kids use the bathrooms that are located outside to keep them from being disruptive to the other services that are going on. Well this kid was still kind of new to the youth group, and he got up to use the bathroom. This is the conversation that took place:

Me: Where are you going?
Teen: I have to go to the bathroom
Me: Okay, well go outside.
Teen: (looking at me as though I'd just asked him to eat a grasshopper) OUTSIDE?!?!?
Me: There are bathrooms out there.
Teen: Oh :)

He hadn't realized that there were bathrooms out there. I guess he thought I wanted him to use a bush.

* * * * *

Wednesday night I was taking this same teen home after youth group. We had another funny conversation that went something like this:

Teen: Is it wrong to ask God for something?
Me: Of course not.
Teen: Even if it's physical?
Me: (thinking he meant physical, like a new bike) You can ask, but it doesn't mean you'll get it.
Teen: Cuz I want a deeper voice.
Me: (Silence)
Teen: Mine is kind of high...
Me: (trying to recover) Well, you can pray and ask God for anything.
Teen: How would I ask for that?
Me: Well how would you ask your mom for something?
Teen: Dear Mom, I'd like a deeper voice, Amen.
Me: Change "mom" to "God" and I think you've got it!

:)

I love my job.
I love my church.
I love my teens.

That's what this blog is about. And usually it is very upbeat and sometimes even funny.

But today... my heart is broken for one of my boys.

I started going to this church almost 8 years ago. There are a couple of kids that are in my youth group that went the the church all the way back then, although they were pretty young. One in particular we will call John (name has been changed). When I came to the church, John was only about 8 years old. He came to church with his grandma and could always be counted on to be in the children's musicals, and sitting in church on Sunday morning. He joined the youth group as a 6th grader when I was a senior. He was one of those kids that everyone loved. People would always donate money to get him to camps and events, knowing that he probably wouldn't be able to go otherwise. 5 years later he is still one of my teens. He has been with me since I started working with the junior highers almost 5 years ago.

I have watched over the years as the other kids have lost their excitement for church and for God. But John has just grown stronger in his relationship with God, and still has that glimmer of excitement in his eye when he walks through the doors of the church.

I've watched the other kids go through rebellious stages... as they've treated their parents with disrespect and gotten upset with the adults in their lives. John continued to walk his grandma into each service, sit with her, and take care of her. He was good to his parents who eventually began coming to church as well. He would leave youth group if his grandma needed him, he'd go home early because his mom had to pick him up then... with a smile on his face and not one complaint from his lips.

While other teens have been disrespectful to me, cussed me out, said mean things to me, and taken advantage of me, John has encouraged me and lifted me up... even when it's supposed to be the other way around.

Last week I got the news that John's grandmother had passed away. She's been sick for some time and it has been a struggle for her, but John has been there with her through it all, loving her just as much. I knew that he would be torn apart. I immediately called him to see how he was doing. He was sad, I could tell. But there was still this bit of hope in his voice... because that's just who John is. Even in the midst of the most difficult thing he's probably ever had to go through, he remained kind hearted and hopeful.

Sunday morning during the service, John went to the cross (which is what we have instead of an alter). I went to pray for him, and as soon as I placed my hand on his back, I felt the sobs that were shaking his body. I knelt down next to him and grabbed his shoulders. I sat there as he cried and I began to cry too. I knew that he was hurting... and I hurt for him. He looked up at me and simply said, "I miss her so much."

He went on to say that if it weren't for her, he wouldn't be where he was... he probably wouldn't even be a Christian.... that he was so happy knowing she was with Jesus, but it hurt him to lose her. I told him that she had been so proud of him, and that I knew he would live his life continuing to make her proud. And to make God proud. I told him that one day, he would see her again...

...and he cried...

...and I cried...

...and my heart broke again...

Because no matter how much I try to just be their youth pastor... no matter how much I try to keep things professional to some degree... These kids are my heart. And when they hurt... I hurt too.

So today... my heart is hurting for John.
For his family.
For the people who loved his grandmother.

But it is also full of joy for the fact that she IS with Jesus....
....for who John has become because she cared enough to bring that little boy to church...
...for John's parents who now love Jesus too... because he showed them God's love...
And for every life that John will touch... because I know that one day, there is going to be a group of people that looks back on their lives and credits John, and his heart, for who they have become.

Because that is just who John is.
And I am so blessed that God allowed me to be his youth pastor.

...although typical for us...

...is really not typical at all :)

We have a service called TNT. Basically it is an alternative service that happens at the same time as our main service. It is held in the gym where it's dark, the worship music is loud, we have coffee and doughnuts and it's much more laid back and relaxed. One of the things about this service is that it requires a lot of set up. And right now, our teens are doing most of that.

Sometimes it's hard to remember that they are still teenagers...

...but they always have a way of reminding us:


I'll leave you with a couple of pictures from Sunday:
This is our "alter". It's a cross.

One of our kids is really into wrestling.

Not the kind you do on a mat in high school.

The kind where you throw things at each other and do ridiculous moves.

I wouldn't think of this as being a problem...

...until he hit me with a chair....

Apparently, he wanted to try out one of the moves.

I forgot to post this picture from when we went to PLNU... and really, it deserves it's own post:
Yes, that is Isaac.
And yes that is the trunk of my car.

...and I guess that's our fault because we took them to one.

One of the things that is cool about the Nazarene Denomination is that we have a university... several actually... but the one that our district is connected with is Point Loma Nazarene University in San Diego, California. It's actually where I went to college and it's a great school.

Once a year, they have something called Preview Days. It's a chance for kids from the Nazarene churches to go and check out the school. They stay in the dorms, eat in the caf, go to a chapel and a class and if they're seniors, they do their admissions interview. The school also does some other fun activities for the kids while they're there. This year, we took 7 teens down. It was quite an adventure. Things like this are always fun when we have a smaller group of kids because we really get to have fun with them and get to know them better.

I have some kind of funny stories... but I thought I'd share a few pictures also! So enjoy!

This was on the way down.
I was driving.
We decided to have a contest to see who could blow the biggest bubble...
This was mine.
I didn't like Crystal's... so I popped it :)This is me and one of my boys (Kyle) at a rest stop on the way there.


This is Isaac.
He's super cool.
But you might notice something kind of odd...
He's wearing fake eyelashes...
And they're on his eyeLIDs...
We love him :)
This is the Greek Amphitheatre (with the ocean in the background!). It's kind of famous at PLNU.This is the baseball field (in the background) and the track. Notice the ocean again?This is me and Javier... he is "hexing" me.
I don't know why.
Some of us down by the cliffs... this is actually on PLNU's campus!
This was taken on our way back up the cliffs... you wouldn't believe how many different versions of this picture we have with all of us trying to get in on it!
This video is from our hike back up the cliffs. The teens headed up the way we came down. Then Javier took the "easy way" and told me to try it.
I did.
It wasn't so easy.
I got stuck.
The teens laughed. And videotaped. And this is what happened.

We really enjoyed the time at PLNU, but before we knew it, it was time to head back home. We got on the road and decided to take our time... so we pulled off at a gas station (mostly because there was a lot of traffic and I panicked :) and then we decided to head to the beach for a while.

Remember Isaac?
We love him.

As soon as we got to the beach, the boys ran up this sand hill and posed for a picture:
...Then they pushed each other off of it...
Typical boys.

Shirley, me and Crystal... the only girls that went. We had fun!
There's a lot of love in our youth group :)I'd like to take this moment to thank God for Javier. Because before he came along, the boys did this to me... now he takes them on:
Don't worry... no teens were harmed in the making of this blog...
The next stop was the McDonald's dollar menu...
There are no words...
I'm really not sure about them sometimes... but they sure think they're funny.
One of the jokes that started circulating (i don't know how) is they would come up to me and say "Diandra my arm is swollen!" and then flex their bicep. At McDonald's it got taken to a whole new level... "Diandra, I have a headache":
We stopped at a Rest Area on the way back. The kids were making Sims of all of our teens... it was pretty funny! They were playing with the little Sims, and I hear Crystal say,
"Is that a hamster? Or a dog?"
:)We returned home safely and all the kids had a good time. I am reminded again about how wonderful my teens are and how cool my job is :)

...I've had one since Wednesday night in youth group.

This might explain it:



Because at any given time on Wednesday night before and after the worship service... there are 4 or more balls flying through the air. For some reason, they all seem to end up at one central point: my head.

We've got a group of teens that have started a worship band. The band plays on Wednesday nights before we teach. We've been talking to them a lot about how important their role is. They lead people in worship, and really set the tone for the rest of the service, and for what God is going to say through the message.

Sometimes we talk and talk and it sure seems like it goes in one ear and out the other.

On Wednesday night I realized that sometimes, it sticks.

The kids were kind of messing around during worship, so right in the middle of it, Isaac, our guitar player, stops playing and gives the youth group quite a lesson. I quickly pulled out my phone when I realized where it was going and caught most of it on tape:



It's a little hard to hear, but he basically says that it inst about how they sound, God doesn't care, He just wants us to worship Him. He goes on to say, who cares if you look silly or if people look at you, sing, dance, raise your hands, whatever... just worship God. (that's a bit of a paraphrase :)

Winter Camp is coming up soon.

I was making a plug for it in Sunday School. A few of the kids had just gone to starbucks and were drinking their fancy little drinks (welcome to Southern California youth ministry).

There is a cost to the camp, so I was telling the kids to save their pennies. Here is what followed:

Teen 1: Aw man, I just threw all that change in the tip jar at starbucks!
Teen 2: Dude, it was like 30 cents
Teen 1: No... oh well, yeah.

Later on in Sunday School we were talking about Sanctification. I was trying to explain in "kid terms" what it means. So I used this example:

Before you become a Christian, you're driving down the road in a car and Jesus is running along side of you. When you become a Christian, you let Jesus get into your car for the ride. When you become Sanctified, you let Jesus drive and you sit in the passenger seat.

To which one of the kids responds: "But does He drive full speed?"

There are times when life is hard.

There are a lot of those times when you're a youth pastor.

Oftentimes I find myself discouraged... frustrated... and just feeling down.

But God has this really cool way of turning that around.

At the end of Sunday School, I always ask if anyone would like to pray. It used to be that the kids would volunteer each other, so I'd make the kid that didn't want to pray pray. Then one day I realized that I was using prayer as a punishment (which was never my intention but that was what it had become). So I stopped doing that and started talking to them about what a privilege it is to pray and how much joy God must get when He sees that we want to talk to Him.

So when Sunday School ended last week, I was about to ask if anyone would like to pray. But before I had the chance, one of my teens raised his hand and started saying "oh me, oh, oh me!" you know... like kids do when they cant contain themselves...

And then he says something I wasn't expecting: "Can I pray? PLEASE?"

Possibly one of the best moments of my life.

Lucas is still proposing (if you don't know what I mean, read this).

Friday night I took him and Crystal (Javier's niece) home. On the way to drop him off, he proposed again. Crystal and I laughed and she said something about how it's never going to happen.

Lucas says, "Yes it will, I have faith. God answers prayers."

Then he proceeds to tell us that he asked in his Bible class at school for them to pray that his youth pastor would marry him.

When we were relaying this story to Javier and Sam (Crystal's dad, Javier's brother) later on that night, Sam looks at Javi and says, "Well I hope he didn't mean you."

:)

So again, not really "teen" related... but another update to my life list:

I've been featured on Jasmine Star's blog :)

Here are a couple of my favorites:

I almost feel like just leaving it at that and not even telling you the story behind this picture...

...almost...

...but I like to talk :)

This is Sarah (our intern) and Daniel (one of our teens). This is what Daniel did to Sarah instead of just saying "hello" like a normal person.

But that is why we love our kids...

...they're hands on...

...and they seem to have this weird obsession with hair... anyone know if there is a medical term for that?

Just wanted to share a couple of pictures of what youth group typically looks like.

Here are some of the kids in the gym during the Wednesday night service...
And part of one of our "small groups" on Friday night

Yesterday I accomplished something on my life list :)

I know that this is unrelated to my teens, but since I started writing about it on here, I have decided to continue with updates.

DO A PHOTOSHOOT WITH JASMINE STAR.

It was amazing! It will be posted on her blog at the end of this week or beginning of next week if you want to check it out.

Here are a couple behind the scenes pictures:

I am so thankful that I am where I am.

But if that weren't enough, God has blessed me with people to work with that I really love.

I get to work for my dad which is amazing! But in addition to that, I have been fortunate enough to really form friendships with our other pastors, and even our volunteers!

We have an intern from Biola University who is completing credits with us. Her name is Sarah. Yesterday, Sarah and I went to Disneyland!

Afterwards, we went with Javier and Sam to get pumpkins and carve them:


The funniest part was Sarah's portrait of Javier on her pumpkin :)
I am continually blessed by my job. It is so much more than a job. I am grateful for amazing people who make it that much better :)

***WARNING: This is not the typical "happy post" that I usually post. I find so much joy in what I do, and I typically write about that, and the triumphs, but today something is on my heart and I really felt like writing about it. So feel free to read, think and comment, but just keep in mind it's not the norm.***

I've mentioned before that I grew up in Oregon. And not only in Oregon, but in relatively small towns in Oregon. I have parents that taught me well... especially when it came to racism and hate. I learned from a very young age that the color of someone's skin was just that... a physical characteristic. That it didn't make them any less of a person. I also learned that we should love people regardless... that Jesus died for EVERYONE... not just the people we like. Those lessons were so important for me to learn. Because of the way I was raised and the person that God has made me, I really don't notice race as anything more than a physical characteristic... like blond hair or brown hair, green eyes or blue eyes, short or tall... Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for the world that I live in.

Our church is multinational. It's even in the name. Cerritos Crossroads MULTINATIONAL Church of the Nazarene/Mas Que Vencedores (yes it's long, but it's who we are). We speak 5 different languages officially and several others unofficially. We live in an area where this is not uncommon... Granted, it is a bit uncommon in the church... but southern California is full of different cultures and languages and nationalities.

It is also full of hatred and racism. I get so frustrated when I see that. I don't understand how people can feel so much disdain towards another human being simply because of the way they look, or where they were born, or where their GREAT GRANDPARENTS were born! It doesn't make sense to me.

That hatred translates in so many different ways. One of those became very real for some of my teens this week. A girl at one of the many local high schools in the area was shot and killed. She was the friend of one of my girls. She was killed at a party when someone came in and shot her. I don't know the details, but I know it was gang related... and gangs are driven by the need for power and surrounded by racial issues which often turns into hatred for no apparent reason.

It breaks my heart to see these things happening... and happening right in front of me. My heart goes out to this girl's family and friends. This isn't the first time something like this has impacted my teens. I continue to thank God for keeping them safe and pray that they continue to make good choices and stay out of harm's way.

Gangs are very real. I never really realized that until I moved here. But now that I'm here and closer than ever to real people affected by real gangs, I am driven to do something. Gangs are full of kids who need Jesus. And I honestly believe that Jesus can really and truly save these kids and change their lives.

I got a very unique invitation in the mail last week.

It was from a church, inviting me to Hell.

Yes, Hell.

It's a Halloween alternative that this church does... I guess it's some sort of show.

I was reading the invitation to Javier and one of our boys was standing there and overheard.

He turns to me and says, "I want to go to Hell."

Then he realized what he said, "Wait. I think that came out wrong."

:)

It takes a special person to be a youth pastor.

There's really a balance between being their friend, their mentor, their spiritual leader, and a little bit of a goof ball.

I was sorting through pictures on my computer today of my kids, and I started seeing a bit of a pattern... so I thought I'd share some proof of the goof ball side. :)

At the fireworks stand... I really dont know what Im doing...
Eating a Popsicle... I think it was for a photo scavenger hunt.
Silly sunglasses
Another one for the scavenger hunt... hanging out in a tree...
In a fountain... you'd be amazed how many fountains Ive been in...
Playing on the playground at the church
Rock Candy... yess!
Winter Camp... He started it.
Girl's night. I promise I do not dress like that on a regular basis.
Trying to get Bernice to smile... it worked :)
Always trying to get the kids to laugh for pictures...
There is no explanation for this one.
More from the playground.
We were dancing. We're actually really good :)