We do ministry in Southern California.
In a very urban area.
Cerritos itself doesn't seen all that urban... it's a pretty nice, fairly wealthy city. But our church sits on a corner that borders Hawaiian Gardens and Artesia.
When I first moved to Southern California and heard "Hawaiian Gardens" I had this picture of this beautiful, wonderfully nice city. I was sadly mistaken. Hawaiian Gardens is home to all kinds of racism, gangs, and hatred.
That is where we do ministry.
One of the things that I have often shared is my heart for gang outreach.
This morning, I heard about something that really shook me.

The largest gang raid in United States history happened two minutes away from me. Right down the street. In an area where a huge amount of my teens come from. A place that I drive through everyday. For this small town girl from Oregon... that was shocking.

(weapons confiscated during the raid)

88 people linked to a "notorious southern California street gang" were arrested. Right next door. 1400 police officers, 17 SWAT teams... FBI, and all kinds of other people were involved in the take down. You can read more about it HERE (or just google it).

Today I'll be praying for these people... for their families... for the other members of the gangs... for the people they've hurt... for the people who may be hurt in the future.... for the ongoing issue of racism that haunts our nation and hurts people of all nationalities... for the hate in the hearts of people... Join me?

This is my life in ministry.

I love my job.
It is so much more than just a job for me.
It is my life.
It is my heart.
These teenagers... they are my life... my heart.
I laugh with them, cry with them, hurt for them, pray for them.
They occupy my thoughts, my prayers, my plans for the future.


We do real youth ministry here.
And I gotta tell you, real ministry doesn't always happen inside the church walls.
It isn't always happy victories, and funny stories.
Sometimes it's downright messy, heartbreaking and brutal.
But it's real.

Javier and I both spend an immense amount of time with these kids within the church walls at events, services, youth group, Bible studies, counseling, and when they just wander into our offices after school.

But we also spend a ton of time outside the church walls.... whether it's at an organized event off site, an impromptu movie, a lunch at school, a football game, or when we see them walking down the street and stop to have a conversation. We live life with them. It's a wonderful thing when you realize that as much as you have invested in their lives, they want you to be a part of them. We often get invited to performances, birthday parties, graduation parties, and even occasionally, family events.

We give rides to kids from one place to another, even if we aren't staying at either place, because some of the BEST ministry happens on that car ride.

These kids are really what we live for. Their hearts... their souls... that's why we do what we do.

I firmly believe that because of those things, the teens are open and honest with us. We don't walk away from difficult situations, and when we are confronted with conflict, we work through it with the teens. That is part of the importance of what we do: teaching these kids to deal with things... to do the right thing even when it's hard... to confront things head on and trust God to take care of us.

I really debated whether or not to post this, because it is difficult and messy, and not like the funny stories I usually post. But my heart is aching... breaking... for some of my students. For those of you who read this and are in youth ministry, maybe this can be an encouragement to you. For those of you who aren't, please pray for those that are.

Last Wednesday night in the middle of youth group, we had a breakdown. One of my boys came to me and said, "Diandra, the girls are in the bathroom crying, and they won't come out." So I went to the bathroom and sure enough, three of my girls were crying hysterically. They tried to explain to me what was going on, but I could hardly understand their broken words through the sobs. Finally I pieced together what was going on. The girls were having a feud with another girl in their class and had broken into her house with a butter knife and taken a bunch of her clothes. Now the police were looking for them, and they were scared.

I quickly ushered them into my office and called Javier. After speaking with the girls, he and I stepped out of the office and started discussing our options. Then we made the most difficult decision we've had to make since starting youth ministry. We needed to call the police. We went back into the office, told the girls what we were going to do, and then prayed with them. We told them to be honest and to do the right thing. They agreed. Then the police came. They spent quite a while questioning each of the girls individually. I spent every ounce of energy I had trying not to cry.

When they were done questioning the girls, the police called the girl whose stuff had been stolen. We all expected her to press charges, and the girls were facing some major consequences if she did. But she just wanted her stuff back, and she decided not to press charges. So the police took our girls with them to get the stuff and return it, and deliver the girls into the hands of their parents.

As we watched the police cars drive away, I broke down. I cried. Hard. I knew that the girls were going to be okay, I knew that they'd learned a valuable lesson, and I knew that God had done a miracle and showed them grace in all of it. But I still cried. Because sometimes youth ministry is messy. Sometimes it hurts. And that night was the hardest in the history of my youth ministry... until this week.

We have a pretty large group of teens. They come from all different walks of life, all of them have different family dynamics, many of them are different ethnicities, and they're at all different stages of spiritual growth. For the most part, the kids put their differences aside, and we have a pretty successful meshing of teens. But on Wednesday night, these differences became evident.

Before youth group, there was an exchange of words between a few of the kids when one of them was cussing and another asked him to stop. One of our wonderful leaders, Shannon, was able to calm them down and talk them through it. They were seemingly okay and were told to stay away from each other for the rest of the evening. We had a wonderful service, and God really moved. After everything was broken down and put away from the service, the kids were hanging out.

The boy that had told the other to stop cussing (we'll call him Scott) was playing basketball. All of the sudden, another boy that had been involved in all of this (we'll call him Eric), came at Scott with a hockey stick. He hit him in the back of the head so hard that the top of the hockey stick broke off. Scott went down. Eric continued to beat him with the wooden handle of the hockey stick. Javier ran at him yelling, and it apparently scared Eric enough that he dropped the hockey stick. Javier grabbed him and held him so he couldn't move. Shannon rushed to Scott and held his head to stop the bleeding, and I called 911. Then the chaos ensued.

Scott was rushed to the hospital, and was later released with 7 staples in his head, damage to his ribs, and a whole lot of bruising. He could have been killed. God definitely protected him. Eric was picked up by the police and taken to a juvenile detention center. He will have to appear before a judge.

Many of our teens witnessed the whole thing, and were scared and shaken. Youth group is a safe place for them... a refuge for many of them whose family lives are crazy and miserable. But their sense of security was shaken.

So was mine.

I am a girl. I am an emotional girl. Not only that, but I genuinely, honestly LOVE my kids. All of them. Even when they make bad choices. So my heart was broken. I held it together until the kids were gone, and then I cried.
I cried for Scott, and for his family and his pain.
I cried for Eric... for his soul, for his anger, for his hurt.
I cried for my kids... for the impact I knew this had had on them.
And I cried, because it was hard.

Sometimes youth ministry is hard. Sometimes it is ugly and scary and real.
The good news is, as my dad always says, the only battles we lose are the ones we don't fight.

Friday night, we sat down with a small group of the teens to talk through the situation. Scott was there. Eric was not. Another kid was also there... the one who had been cussing in the teen room. At the end of the time, our teens had grown closer together in this, and decided that they were not going to let Satan win this battle. Scott and the other teen hugged. They laughed together. They put the past behind them... all 3 years of it... and decided to start fresh and allow God to use them. They no longer wanted the hurt, anger, and frustration.

I pray for Scott.
I pray to God that he still loves Jesus.
I pray that he learns through all of this.
I pray that my teens will surround him with Christ's love.
I pray for forgiveness... for restoration.

I serve an AWESOME God.
A God of new beginnings.
A God of love and forgiveness and faithfulness.
A God that is there, even when it is hard, and even when I can't do it alone.
I am so thankful that I don't have to do it alone... that my God is with me every step of the way.
I am thankful that all of my teens are alive and healthy.
I am thankful that God can take what Satan meant for evil and use it for good...
For GREAT!

Sunday was Easter.
My God is not held by a cross and 3 nails.
My God is not held by a tomb.
My God keeps His promises.

We had a baptism service and baptized 6 of our teens (more about that in another blog).
I was reminded of God's promises...
As my teens stood one by one and read testimonies for their friends, and as others joyfully stepped into that baptismal, I was reminded that God loves them more than I do. That as I sat crying that Wednesday night, God cried harder. It hurt him more than it hurt me. He loves them so much that He DIED for them. On a cross. And then He rose!

So in the midst of the trials... of the difficulties, I am joyful in knowing that God wins.

Wow. 100 posts. I still remember starting the blog about a year ago and worrying that I wouldnt have enough to write about. But I have LOVED writing this blog... and going back and re-reading it too! I hope you've all enjoyed it as well! I'd love to hear from you if you're reading... because the only way I know is if you leave me a comment.

I can't believe that we're already done with another winter camp! It seems like we just had last years! But Winter camp 2009 has come and gone... so here's how it went down...

First of all, we had about 40 people go! Which is really quite something considering there were only about 150 in the whole camp... our youth group is really growing!!! Last year we took about 25. Because our bus is not in commission right now, we had to take a caravan of 9 cars!!! We had some wonderful people volunteer to drive kids up which was awesome. Javier's parents were among them:
As soon as we got there, snowball fights ensued... and they didn't cease until we left the snow.
luckily, the kids were so excited to be in the snow and at winter camp, that they had great attitudes... even as they were getting pelted by incoming snow.
We had a few kids that came with us that had never been to an event with us before. It was an AWESOME weekend of bonding with our kids... they really opened up to us. Over and over I heard them saying that our youth group is like a "family".
One time we were at the snack bar, and the guy working it asked us which group we were with (there were several groups up there), and Chrisha blurted out "CERRITOS!!! WHOOOOO!!!" and the guy started laughing because that was not the group, but rather our church. He said "It's great to have church spirit!" to which Chrisha replied, "we're not a church... we're a family!" It's really cool that our kids feel that way about us. I sure feel that way about them!

It's also the first year that we brought our intern, Sarah.
I really dont know what to say about this picture... other than that it is just so Sarah :) She came to us a about a year and a half ago from Biola and we love her! It has just been such a great fit! It was also George and Shannon's first camp which was sooo exciting (but for some reason, I dont have a lot of pictures of them)! All of our leaders bonded with each other and with our kids. We are so blessed to have great leaders who really LOVE our teens!
I often hand my camera to one of the teens and let them take pictures for a while... what we end up with is always a lot of fun :)
This is Javier and his son Javi... they have a very special relationship... but we all get a kick out of it...
The chapels were pretty good. The kids really connected with God. But one thing that I noticed is that this was not a "mountain top experience" for our kids. God has really blessed us at our church. Every week we have wonderful services and our teens connect with God. They dont need a camp to see God face to face, or to experience His love. They get that on a regular basis. So while the teens responded, and absolutely got something out of the weekend, it was really a neat realization that they are building strong relationships with God wherever they are!
Several of our kids are pretty musically talented and always seem to find a way to worship... wherever we may be. I think that's pretty cool :)
We had several game times when the kids hung out in the gym and played games. We never had all of our kids on the same team, because there were so many. We would have dominated. But it was fun to play with them and watch them have fun with each other.
But more than anything else, there was a lot of hanging out in the snow: taking pictures, having snowball fights, sledding down the HUGE mountain (more about that later), playing football, "snowboarding", and just having a blast!


I am not a very big girl. I am about 5 feet 3 inches and about 120 pounds... so most of my teens are bigger than me. Especially the boys. So when we get in situations like winter camp... I find myself eating it... a lot... and usually with the help of one of the silly boys...\

The boys sure were loving the football! (or maybe just pushing each other around...)

This was the result of that one...

We kept taking group pictures, but we could never quite get the WHOLE group in the picture...
The youth pastors (Javier and Me)
Yeah... it looks like a nice picture... but this is what REALLY happened:
And as always... I seem to get hurt. Here is the story of my injury... There is a very large hill (pictured below). The kids were sledding down it (you can see some of those pictures above). most of them were going to the second section (marked on the photo below as II) and sliding down, but a few of the more daring ones would go to the very top. Most of the teens were catching a foot or two of air as they hit the lip... several of them lost their sleds and rolled the rest of the way down the hill. Two of my boys decided that I should go down. I told them I'd go but only if they went with me. So we got one of the big sleds and headed up the hill.
We got to the middle part where most of the kids were going down and I stopped. But they kept going. "You have to go from the top," they said. "It'll be more fun!!!" So up we went. I watched a few other people go down and I thought, "I cannot do this! I'm going to die!" But no one else died, or even got hurt. I rememberd the story my dad tells of me as a kid wanting to go down the waterslide but being scared... by the time I finally did, it was so late that I only got to go once and I was bummed. So I decided to go for it. I was the first on the sled, but before I got on, I looked at my boys and said in my most serious voice possible, "If you push me down this hill by myself, I'm going to kill you."

**Side note: When youth pastoring, resorting to threats of death or serious injury is highly frowned upon. In fact... it's really a bad idea. And typically... I do not make such threats... but I blame it on adrenaline mixed with sheer panic.**

Everyone was watching...
So I sat down on the sled and sure enough, they shoved me down the hill and stood at the top to watch. I made it down the first section fairly easily... still sitting on the sled and I even thought for a minute, "Hey, this is kind of fun!"
But then.
It happened.
I hit the lip (labeled below as II).
And I flew.
Literally.
In the air.
At least 10 feet (as told to me later by the people watching).
But in addition to the 10 feet, there was a drop. So I basically flew in the air and dropped about 15 feet and landed on my head/neck/back (I landed right about where it's marked III) and then slid the remainder of the way on my stomach with my arms straight out in front of me like superwoman (I was wearing my wonder woman shirt that day... I should have known!).

Now, I know this is a little scary (especially because my mom and grandma read this)... but I am okay. It is another miracle considering how it happened and how I landed and all of that... the people who saw it happen were pretty scared that I was badly hurt. But I came away with just scrapes and soreness. God is really good. The boys, however, got quite an earful from Javier. Needless to say, nothing like that will ever happen again :)

All in all, camp was WONDERFUL! God did great things, our kids bonded with each other and with us, and a good time was had by all.

I'll leave you with our last attempt at a group picture (we're only missing 4 teens who had already headed down the mountain):

A couple of weeks ago we headed down to Mexico for the day. It was the most amazing trip yet! We loaded up in 3 cars: Pastor Gabriel's van, Rene's truck, and my car. We headed down to the border and as usual, we stopped at McDonald's right before going across :) Then we began to pray as we crossed over the border. You see, we can be fined or turned around if we get caught bringing the stuff that we bring over the border. So every time as we go through, we just pray that God gets us through. This time was no different. Gabriel's van made it through... my car made it through... but Rene's truck (which was carrying most of our stuff) was stopped. They wouldn't accept money from them (which is just unheard of there!) and they turned them around and sent them home. So now we were left with only 2 vehicles and without most of the toys and clothes. We had to change our plan of attack. So we headed to a different place than we'd initially planned. When we got there, we had to decide what to do. Should we hand out what we had even though we didn't have enough for everyone? After much discussion, that's exactly what we decided to do. So we gathered everyone around and Gabriel and Javier talked to them about God. We had 3 people that accepted Jesus! Then we began handing out the toys, blankets and clothes that we had. And they just kept coming... we'd finish giving out all that we had, and close the van doors, and then we'd open the van and it was like God multiplied what we'd had because there would be more! At the end of the day, we had enough! It was so cool to see God so plainly do a miracle! It reminded me of when Jesus fed 5000 with only a loaf of bread and fish.

Just wanted to share that story and some pictures... so here are some of my favorites from the trip.

Waiting at the border for Rene (little did we know...) Javier decided to take a nap.
When we got there, the people all rushed around us.
Javier and Gabriel telling people about God.
Javier praying for the people that accepted Jesus
Me and Crystal
Me and Karla (one of the girls we see every time we go.)
Me and Mango (with a soccer ball on his head). He's another one we see each time.
Handing things out and hanging out with the people there.
Javier talking to the guys that accepted Jesus.
Me, the teens that went and a couple of our new friends.
Me and Mango again (he loves me) :)
This man had this super cool bike he'd made... and he was kind enough to let us ride it! It was pretty fun!

One of our Mexico traditions is going to eat tacos before we go home...
Javier even got a little daring and tried a pepper... I don't think he'll be doing that again anytime soon...
Here are a few more of my favorites from the trip...